Project Year 24 Day 28: The Better Choice (June 3, 2013)
Often, lunch hours are spent with my two colleagues picking on me. In many ways, they make me feel
like I have bully elder brothers (i.e. Kuyas).
Not having a brother sucks. That's why the comforting feeling of having
quasi-elder siblings makes up for the occasional moments of being a prey. For
lack of creativity, let me call these colleagues, A and G.
Today's bullying topic is about my pick on who to
marry or choose as a life partner between hypothetical Dude 1 and Dude 2. To be
more specific, here's how these dudes were described to me:
Dude 1: Presentable
and is not fortunate in all his business ventures (hence, good-looking but broke);
and
Dude 2: Homey and
owns a duck farm, which A and G so fondly call "itikan" (hence, homey but loaded).
In essence, probably A and G just wanted to prove a
point that women often pick men who are financially stable for practical
reasons. Had we been in the 1950's, that point could have won in court. In this
age, though, that is no longer a popular battle.
Women marry late, lead companies, go on battle fronts,
and drive trucks. Most women today do not need men for sheer financial
stability. Nothing has ever been more apparent than that since the 1990's.
While that is a glorious thing for the female population, it is slowly becoming
a bane for men.
In many instances, I have seen men who found it hard
to rise above their egos when their female partners earn more, fight harder,
and drive wicked wheels. While this may be a trivial concern, in the long run,
this is going to be a cancer that will ruin a man and a woman's relationship.
Why do most men find it uncomfortable when their
female partners have higher paychecks? I am no male, thus, I cannot speak on
their behalf. The best that I can do is to theorize.
My hypothesis, just like yours (probably), is that the
male ego is caught in the status quo. Society expects fathers to provide for
their families, eldest son to take over the family business, men to be better
drivers, and so on. Essentially, society defines the alpha male. In return, men
probably want to "meet" that definition.
Therefore, I have high respect for men who have found
their way out of this antiquated status quo. I applaud men who are not burdened
by the idea that their partners may be more successful than them in terms of
career, finances, educational attainment, or skills. This just reflects how
secure they are of their own strengths and that they are happy for the
accomplishments of their female partners.
This should not be an excuse, though, for blokes to
just watch their ladies bring home the bacon. That's not commendable, that's
irresponsible. Rather, I urge men with powerful lady partners to use the fact
as their motivation to succeed further.
The bottomline is, "men and women are
equal". If the girlfriend or wife is the head of the company and the
husband is still just a manager, then, it's time for him to pick up his pace. If
the scale is not balanced, it will tip off.
Most women
today no longer just pick who can save them from the dragons. Rather, they
choose those who will slay the dragon with them, side-by-side.
Therefore, between
Dude 1 and Dude 2, who is a better option? Trick question. Just like how exams usually go, "not enough information to arrive at a conclusion". In this case, the better choice is not to choose at all.
true!
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